Single parenting: from another side

Single Parenthood...

There are many types of single parents, from the parent who has a supportive co-parent, the parent who has supportive friends, and family, the parent who has that one or two people that they know they can always count on, the parent who is virtually a singleton in every aspect. I fall into the latter category. I became a parent in my mid-teens, this took me hundreds of miles away from my family to another state where I had to begin again. (I've been beginning again every since)

I was a kid having a kid while doing me best to be an adult. There were people in and out of my life a "friend" here a "friend" there, yet I never fit in anywhere. I never belonged. Oh but I tried, yet and still I always came back to a place of solitude, taking the label from those associates as the "quiet counselor" because the one consistent thing about me was helping others. I have always wanted people to be happy and secure, that care was hardly ever reciprocated. Yet, I was never a good fit for any group of people. As such I just went with the wind. When I read the book "White Oleander" Astrid seemed so familiar she was pieces of me the one who struggled to find a meaning of the silly thing called life, struggled to fit in but ultimately settling into a life of isolation and seemed ostracism.

Needless to say this definitely doesn't help the single parent. As much as we love our kiddos it can be draining, pulling the tugs of the day, gender, race, and socioeconomic discrimination, clock in and out, come home to begin again. We push the clock, balance our finances in attempts to continue the level of comfort in which we have become accustomed... rental property payments, running water, gas to keep the running water hot, electricity, WiFi to conquer online graduate studies.

Then we dream, we sit [or lay] pondering what we will do, what is the next step, where we will go, imagining our next partner, someone to ease the burdens of this beautiful hurricane, feeding into your moon, and not taking away the stars.

There are some parents that yearn to wake up to their children and grant their every wish and love every second of it. Although, they take more than they give, my children have given me an entire world, I love and appreciate them for that. I have told some, and some get it, some do not, however I will share with you and you can take it as you may... "if I had known prior to my two children what I know now, I would not be a parent. Yet, I would not have been privileged with my current knowledge and understanding without having them."

Solace is possible, and so are rainbows. Moreover, emotions and feelings may be adverse to some but they are your feelings own them and grow with them. Paint your skies, have compassion for yourself and those around you.

-Aubrey Piece's 🌈