Single parenting: from another side

Single Parenthood...

There are many types of single parents, from the parent who has a supportive co-parent, the parent who has supportive friends, and family, the parent who has that one or two people that they know they can always count on, the parent who is virtually a singleton in every aspect. I fall into the latter category. I became a parent in my mid-teens, this took me hundreds of miles away from my family to another state where I had to begin again. (I've been beginning again every since)

I was a kid having a kid while doing me best to be an adult. There were people in and out of my life a "friend" here a "friend" there, yet I never fit in anywhere. I never belonged. Oh but I tried, yet and still I always came back to a place of solitude, taking the label from those associates as the "quiet counselor" because the one consistent thing about me was helping others. I have always wanted people to be happy and secure, that care was hardly ever reciprocated. Yet, I was never a good fit for any group of people. As such I just went with the wind. When I read the book "White Oleander" Astrid seemed so familiar she was pieces of me the one who struggled to find a meaning of the silly thing called life, struggled to fit in but ultimately settling into a life of isolation and seemed ostracism.

Needless to say this definitely doesn't help the single parent. As much as we love our kiddos it can be draining, pulling the tugs of the day, gender, race, and socioeconomic discrimination, clock in and out, come home to begin again. We push the clock, balance our finances in attempts to continue the level of comfort in which we have become accustomed... rental property payments, running water, gas to keep the running water hot, electricity, WiFi to conquer online graduate studies.

Then we dream, we sit [or lay] pondering what we will do, what is the next step, where we will go, imagining our next partner, someone to ease the burdens of this beautiful hurricane, feeding into your moon, and not taking away the stars.

There are some parents that yearn to wake up to their children and grant their every wish and love every second of it. Although, they take more than they give, my children have given me an entire world, I love and appreciate them for that. I have told some, and some get it, some do not, however I will share with you and you can take it as you may... "if I had known prior to my two children what I know now, I would not be a parent. Yet, I would not have been privileged with my current knowledge and understanding without having them."

Solace is possible, and so are rainbows. Moreover, emotions and feelings may be adverse to some but they are your feelings own them and grow with them. Paint your skies, have compassion for yourself and those around you.

-Aubrey Piece's 🌈

Graduate School and a Single Mom, Starting All Over...

It Is Not An End

It Is Your New Beginning

I was so excited to be accepted into graduate school, I was going to fulfill my dream of attaining my Ph.D (I still plan to do this). I had spent a decent amount of money on applying to programs and taking necessary exams. (Side note research your graduate degree every program is different and requires different test while some require no test at all, just do your homework on the university and the program and calculate the cost you will need, furthermore make a firm note of how much you can/want spend on applications.) After a semester of submitting applications and getting a few no's when you finally get an acceptance letter you are excited!

So excited I utilized almost every penny I had to relocate myself and my two kids in the hopes that I would be safe and secure in graduate school and build my life once again. Things panned out to be a bit different for me, I did not have adequate childcare and sometimes not even an adequate vehicle. It was quite amazing how things were going haywire in what seemed to be a blink of an eye, yet I know there were signs that I did not pay attention to. I mentioned to myself many times "jeez Aubrey your energy is completely out of whack" there were just so many adverse things going on. All I could think to myself was "Oh my goodness I thought I was doing the right thing, everything WILL get better."

My first semester was in graduate school was so tumultuous that I in some ways self-destructed. I was so stressed about my kids and childcare and the demands of evening classes that I never had before. The stress of it all weighed on me to the point that I was not able to put my best foot forward and my grades showed it. Although I finished the semester, my GPA dropped and I lost my job. This changed everything. I tried to attend the following semester but I could not focus I had to find another job which made it virtually impossible for me to attend face-to-face classes. Thus I had to withdraw for the semester (which by the way landed me on probation 😏).

~"It is not always persisting which makes us strong, sometimes it is the ability to move on" -unknown

Yet, I was not ready to give up on the school. So I went back to what I knew, distance education. Although I was on probation for my Doctorate program I was still admitted into two other graduate programs closely related to my field. One acceptance was with my undergrad UHD, and the other with the same university my doctorate program was with! Take that face-to-face classes 😝


I do not believe in coincidences, for many of us we bring in the hurricanes before the flowers. As a single mom, there are moments when you feel a bit more adversity than others. You tend to come down on yourself because you want your kids to have stability, and when you feel their stability being shaken it is easy to feel moments of failure.

All in all, my biggest thing to anyone is to follow your heart truly. Go with what feels right! In my case I have gotten a firm lesson that "traditional" graduate school can be tedious for all involved yet for the singleton it is even more imperative to have support. So if you are that mom and you are ready to jump in the field of brick and mortar GO FOR IT! Just keep in mind your heart, pay attention to your emotions, have or develop a strong support system quickly! Or if school is not your thing that is OK, find your niche and embrace it!

As for me, I will continue on, online that is. If you want to continue your education do not count yourself out. Check with you local Jr. Colleges and universities many of them have online and hybrid programs to help people just like you and me finish our degrees. I have one more semester until I graduate from my [fully online] Master's program. There are many reputable accredited schools that have graduate and undergraduate programs online for the non-traditional student these distance learning classes are a way to finish our education when there otherwise would be no way.

-Aubrey Piece's 🌈

Yes To Tomatoes Activated Charcoal Bar Soap

Yes to Tomatoes

As a person who has always had sensitive skin once I found black soap we became good friends. I am the being that cannot use facial cleansers such as Noxzema, Neutrogena, or your regular household soaps such as Lever, Dove, Zest, etc. even when they're advertised as "for sensitive" doesn't work for me, I get hives, and itchy, dry, cracked skin.

Upon racing after graduate school which embodied a move to rural Texas I no longer had instant store access to different products I liked. After running out of my trusty African Black Soap I decided to scour the natural aisle of Target as Target seems to carry smaller product lines that Wal-Mart and other retailers do not, I just so happened upon Yes To Tomatoes Activated Charcoal Soap.

I purchased it and have used it for almost three months now. Firstly, it definitely lasts long. I only use it for my face but even still it does not dissolve quickly, nor does it dry out. As merely a facial cleanser used once daily I could see this soap lasting one person six months easy. Second, the soap is not harsh. 

Of course we take into account that every persons skin is different.Yet, all in all it is a decent soap for sensitive skin it cleans well, lathers decently, and is sustainable. Although, it did not cause my face to break out I will more than likely purchase more African Black Soap. If you find yourself in need of some new soap to cleanse your face and see this product on the shelf of your retailer it is worth a try, you just may be adding a new staple product to your life.

-A.